We have a house!

We have been in the new house for a month now. It has flown by as we have a super long list of to dos! Although it feels like we’ve been busy working on the list, it has not shrunk very much.

Every single long hot shower still feels like a slice of heaven. Doing laundry in the house is amazing. Doing laundry and not depending (and waiting!) on The Hubby is more amazing.

As the “new house ” is starting to feel like just the “house”, I am reminded that the house is not what is important. The things that were missed so much while we were in the trailer are not important.

Two beautiful little girls and their silly dad are important. I could live in the trailer for eternity if that was where my cute little family was (ok, maybe not very joyfully).

As we cross off “taking irrationally sticky stickers off windows ” and “installing closet doorknobs that were on back order” (why?!) off of our to-do list, I will stop to enjoy these special people. I will take a breath when I’m feeling overwhelmed and snuggle. I will take a moment to roll across the room with Baby B or join the dance party with Little A. Because wherever I am with my three favorite people, I am home.

Going places with littles

I love having plans and doing something where we get to get out of the house. Then, when I’m about five minutes into getting ready I remember that I have two little kids and the task of leaving home is so exhausting that by the time I get anywhere I am ready to go home.

Yesterday we went shopping with my mom and sister. Although I love shopping and I don’t get to go very often, by the time we got there I wasn’t feeling it. The shopping trip went well, both girls refrained from crying and I found what I was looking for.

Next, the car ride home. Baby B cried the entire thirty minutes home. I thought she would fall asleep but she just cried and cried. Little A whined and begged for the blanket that Baby B was using until she cried too and fell asleep.

When we got to my mom’s house I took Baby B in, worried something was wrong but she was happy the instant I took her from the car seat. My mom brought Little A in and she was a crying mess from being woken up. Ugh. Really, can I catch a break?

I needed to run to the store so I left Baby B with my mom, loaded Little A up, and went to the closest convenience store. As I was carrying Little A in, I realized her diaper was leaking. So we went back to the car and did what any good mom would do: we tied a sweatshirt around her waist.

Sometimes I feel like I either suck at being a mom or other people are really good at making it look easy. But I probably looked like I was rocking it too while we were shopping. Am I good at making it look easy too? Either way, I think we will just resort to online holiday shopping for now.

Three

You were still in my tummy three years ago. It was the day you were due to arrive but you didn’t make an appearance. Five days later you finally arrived. You made me a mommy. I am so thankful for that.

As I hold you, cuddling you to sleep, I am amazed by the many ways you have grown, but also by how babylike you are still. I rarely get to cuddle with you anymore and soon you won’t snuggle up with me anymore. I just want to hold you tight and squish you up when you try to grow. But I’m also extremely excited to see you become a big girl, a teenager, a young woman, and some day maybe a mommy or a chef or an engineer. I can’t wait to see you become more of you.

I so wish I could be everything for you. Because you are everything to me.

How sweet and silly you are in the mornings makes me so excited for you to wake up. I actually can’t wait for you to wake up in the mornings. I love the way you love your sister. It is an over the top, very squeezey love, but it is pure love. I’m so proud of how smart you are, even when you don’t want to listen to my “lessons “.

Thank you for being my little girl, so interested in the world around you. You are so adorable but also gorgeous on the inside. Thanks for letting me learn to be a mommy while you take on life.